How are we going to make her pretty?

Botox?

Filler?

I’m afraid you’re gonna need a facelift.

I could see it their eyes.

Hear it in their words.

Feel it in their concerned and somewhat frustrated demeaner.

“How can we make her look pretty or least acceptable?”

I know they were thinking something along those lines when looking at that piece of paper.

It looked more like a band’s tour schedule than it did an actual resume.

“We’ll just leave this job out.”

“Maybe we’ll do a “skills” resume and leave out the dates.”

Shame!

I had RESUME SHAME!

and no resume writer was going to make this disaster look good.

It was so incredibly painful.

Filling out or trying to explain away my “reason for leaving” time after time after time was a reminder of failure.  My failure. My multiple failures.

As I reflect back today, I realize, I blamed myself for

The times I was bullied by a manager.
The times I was spoken to inappropriately.
The times I was humiliated in front of other people.
The times I literally had an emotionally abusive manager.
The times I was treated more like a human performing and not a human being.

The times I felt unsafe.

The times I didn’t belong.

The only voice I had was my letter of resignation and sometimes that was taken away too.

And as I reflect back today, I remember some of my most incredible leaders whose behaviors and actions were aligned with servant leadership.

Who helped me to thrive, including one who hired me 3 different times when he took a new position because he knew who I was, he knew what I was capable off and knew how to leverage my gifts and talents.

The leaders who cared about me as a person and wanted to know what I dreamed of achieving, what gave me a sense of purpose, what I cared about, what I wanted to become,

Leaders who wanted to help me reach my goals.

Leaders who reminded me who I wanted to be and who I am

The leaders who gave me the most precious gift of all, their time and their presence and mostly,

they gave me permission to be human and I thrived and made some recognizable contributions to the bottom line.

Thank you to all the leaders and so-called leaders I have ever worked with and thank you for all of the leaders who trust me as a speaker.  It’s because of you,

I get to do what I get to do as a professional speaker

unapologetically, without shame

spreading the message of safety and belonging to remind you that you are responsible to give your team members these same gifts

And so I ask you -

What kind of leader do you want to be?

What values do you want to model?

How do you want people to remember you?